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Q. My son is 7 years old and our only (bio) child. We will be adopting (hopefully soon) and I really think I am going to need all the (productive) suggestions I can get in regards to preparing HIM!
Anyone know of any good books out there?
amy, great ideas! ty
we hopefully will be adopting an infant within the year
Anyone know of any good books out there?
amy, great ideas! ty
we hopefully will be adopting an infant within the year
Answer
i found a couple of websites that are interesting and full of information :
* http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/yourchild/newbaby.htm
*http://209.85.165.104/search?q=cache:zwYUNvfOlaMJ:library.adoption.com/counseling/preparing-the-sibling-in-waiting-before-adoption-occurs/article/3397/1.html+books+for+new+siblings+to+be+adoption&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=2&gl=us&client=firefox-a
~To help parents and professionals prepare sibling-to-be, Weitzman suggests the following tips:
1. Elicit the child's fantasies about the sibling about to join the family.
2. Give the child a voice, separate from the parents.
3. Pay attention when the child's view does not match that of the parents.
4. Be aware that adults may need to adjust a child's fantasy of siblings about to be adopted, particularly if the child expects a "picture perfect" experience.
5. Note that children without other siblings seem to have more difficulty with the transition because of divided attention from their parents or how they perceive the new child behaving towards the adoptive parents.
6. Practice future thinking, helping children project themselves into situations where they will be able to keep their identity apart from their new sibling(s). (For example, beginning middle school, playing soccer, sleeping over at a friend's house.)
7. Be aware that kids equate parental love with the amount of attention given to a new child or children in the family, even if it is negative attention.
8. Help the child do some "grown-up talk" about behaviors that might occur with new sibling(s).
9. Provide ways to grow the sibling relationship, suggesting that they play video games together, pick out a treat together or take turns choosing a movie for the family to view.
10. Remind children of why they were excited to get a new sister or brother, and seek commonalities that might help them renew that initial excitement. For more information about the Minnesota Waiting Children Sibling Preference Questionnaire, contact Heidi Weitzman, at hweitzman@chsm.com
i found a couple of websites that are interesting and full of information :
* http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/yourchild/newbaby.htm
*http://209.85.165.104/search?q=cache:zwYUNvfOlaMJ:library.adoption.com/counseling/preparing-the-sibling-in-waiting-before-adoption-occurs/article/3397/1.html+books+for+new+siblings+to+be+adoption&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=2&gl=us&client=firefox-a
~To help parents and professionals prepare sibling-to-be, Weitzman suggests the following tips:
1. Elicit the child's fantasies about the sibling about to join the family.
2. Give the child a voice, separate from the parents.
3. Pay attention when the child's view does not match that of the parents.
4. Be aware that adults may need to adjust a child's fantasy of siblings about to be adopted, particularly if the child expects a "picture perfect" experience.
5. Note that children without other siblings seem to have more difficulty with the transition because of divided attention from their parents or how they perceive the new child behaving towards the adoptive parents.
6. Practice future thinking, helping children project themselves into situations where they will be able to keep their identity apart from their new sibling(s). (For example, beginning middle school, playing soccer, sleeping over at a friend's house.)
7. Be aware that kids equate parental love with the amount of attention given to a new child or children in the family, even if it is negative attention.
8. Help the child do some "grown-up talk" about behaviors that might occur with new sibling(s).
9. Provide ways to grow the sibling relationship, suggesting that they play video games together, pick out a treat together or take turns choosing a movie for the family to view.
10. Remind children of why they were excited to get a new sister or brother, and seek commonalities that might help them renew that initial excitement. For more information about the Minnesota Waiting Children Sibling Preference Questionnaire, contact Heidi Weitzman, at hweitzman@chsm.com
What are some things I can do to prepare my 7 year old ONLY child for his future sibling?
Q. My son is 7 years old and our only (bio) child. We will be adopting (hopefully soon) and I really think I am going to need all the suggestions I can get in regards to preparing HIM!
Anyone know of any good books out there?
We will be adoptin an infant hopefully within the year (just to help clarify)
Anyone know of any good books out there?
We will be adoptin an infant hopefully within the year (just to help clarify)
Answer
There are a TON of good books for big brothers. We have these for our son:
Darcey and Gran Don't Like Babies by Jane Cutler
I'm a Big Brother by Rebecca Cole
The New Baby by Mercer Mayer
Me Too! by Mercer Mayer
My New Baby by Annie Kubler
The New Baby by Fred Rogers
101 Things to Do With a Baby by Jan Ormerod
Mommy's in the Hospital Having a Baby by Maxine Rosenburg
A Baby Sister for Frances by Russell and Lillian Hoban
A New Baby at Your House by Joanna Cole
There is also a Sesame Street Video [I don't know if your son still watches Sesame Street-mine's only 3 1/2!] called A New Baby In My House which my son LOVES.
We also make sure we talk *every day* about the new baby- at least one way the new baby will take work and one way the new baby will be fun. For example, when we put our son down for a nap, we talk about how the baby will wake up a lot and cry and might interrupt nap time, but it's not because she's sad it's because babies don't know how to talk. Then later in the day when we are playing games, we'll talk about how fun it will be to play with the new baby.
We also make a big deal out of our son being a big brother, telling him every chance we get what a big boy he is and how he is very special because and gets to teach the new baby all sorts of cool things! Then we encourage him to talk to the baby in mommy's tummy [not an option, I understand, for adoption but maybe your son could write a letter for his new sibling?] and draw pictures for her. We also let him take some responsibility by putting the baby's clothes on the hanger or organizing her toys.
My son seems to be doing fine so far, but in the end we know it will be tough at spots-it always is for sibings, not just for my kids-I'm one of four and my husband is one of seven so we have personal experience with this!
Good luck to you and your family =)
There are a TON of good books for big brothers. We have these for our son:
Darcey and Gran Don't Like Babies by Jane Cutler
I'm a Big Brother by Rebecca Cole
The New Baby by Mercer Mayer
Me Too! by Mercer Mayer
My New Baby by Annie Kubler
The New Baby by Fred Rogers
101 Things to Do With a Baby by Jan Ormerod
Mommy's in the Hospital Having a Baby by Maxine Rosenburg
A Baby Sister for Frances by Russell and Lillian Hoban
A New Baby at Your House by Joanna Cole
There is also a Sesame Street Video [I don't know if your son still watches Sesame Street-mine's only 3 1/2!] called A New Baby In My House which my son LOVES.
We also make sure we talk *every day* about the new baby- at least one way the new baby will take work and one way the new baby will be fun. For example, when we put our son down for a nap, we talk about how the baby will wake up a lot and cry and might interrupt nap time, but it's not because she's sad it's because babies don't know how to talk. Then later in the day when we are playing games, we'll talk about how fun it will be to play with the new baby.
We also make a big deal out of our son being a big brother, telling him every chance we get what a big boy he is and how he is very special because and gets to teach the new baby all sorts of cool things! Then we encourage him to talk to the baby in mommy's tummy [not an option, I understand, for adoption but maybe your son could write a letter for his new sibling?] and draw pictures for her. We also let him take some responsibility by putting the baby's clothes on the hanger or organizing her toys.
My son seems to be doing fine so far, but in the end we know it will be tough at spots-it always is for sibings, not just for my kids-I'm one of four and my husband is one of seven so we have personal experience with this!
Good luck to you and your family =)
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