Nicole
I am 23. I have 1 kid. I had this vision of where I would be at in life, and I am not there or in the process of being there. I need some help, inspiration/motivation on getting there. I had some major events happen in my life that I let throw me off of the track I was on. I at least want to get back to where I was, if not better. I want to be a better me and a better mom first. I lost my dad at 10 yrs old. I lost my Mom, aunt, uncle in a 2 year span most recently. I started experiencing depression, anxiety and panic attacks. The panic led to agoraphobia. I went from my best self supporting job yet to living with my boyfriends mother.......I quit my job, lost my home, wrecked my car and am relying on my boyfriend to pay the notes on my new one, pretty much. I rely on government assistance for food and I could have never dreamed any of this would have ever happened. I want to put the past behind me. I just want to piece my life back together. I feel like I am letting everything pass me by including raising my child. I have let my agoraphobia stop me from doing a lot of things and now that I have little finances, I couldn't do a lot of things if I wanted to. My child will be 5 soon and I am embarrassed to not have a home or a great job. I can't raise her the way i always dreamed of at my boyfriends mothers house. It has to change.
Any GREAT I mean absolutely life changing, thought provoking, self help book title suggestions? I need something motivational for sure. When I feel like giving up or things get hard etc. Open to all book title suggestions. If you have read any great ones, maybe a brief comment about why you personally found it so great?
Thanks!!
Answer
Reading a book won't help. The only thing self-help books do is help the authors to self-prosperity. They're meaningless rubbish.
That said, stop seeing you're life as one huge tragedy. You went right from father dying 13 years ago to more recent relatives dying, as if your daughter didn't even register as a comma on the page of your life. You were in a car wreck? Who hasn't been, but, geesh, lady, you're still alive telling about it. It's a car. Big deal! Did you learn nothing about what's important and what isn't? Junk--whether car, house, or a dust ball turned into a thimble-sized stuffed animal is just that--JUNK! Cool to have our own stuff, but it's just stuff. (I get the car felt big and the house felt bigger, but it's not as big as the good you have in your life.)
Meanwhile, you ignore the really important things you still have despite all that. Wow, a five year old? I bet she lights up your life (if you'd let her.) What was the latest thing she said that made you see life through the eyes of a child? (I bet it's been within the last 48 hours--24, if you listen. 5 year olds are funny, profound, and, of course infuriating at times. lol) And, wow! Your boyfriend had you and your 5 year old daughter move in with him and his mom. AND his mom let you move in too. That's big time wonderful! We came within three weeks of losing our house. I have four brothers, a sister and a father, and we were to the point of deciding whether we could suck up living with my dad (never asked him, but he would have let us...and hated it as much as I would have lol) or living in our car. Oh yeah, and hubby was on chemotherapy at that time, but the car still seemed like a better choice. No siblings offered to put us up, so I really am very, very impressed you have such a loving family around you. (I found a government program that saved our home, until we went from Welfare to Disability.) Stop looking at the bad. I really do get the mentality. You're waiting for the next shoe to drop. It might.
I was raped at the end of college. A couple years later, I met a wonderful guy and he married me, so it wasn't all doom and gloomy. He had just gone through hell and back in a divorce and lost his two kids (home, vehicle, everything but the bills. She was supposed to get the bills too, but they were in his name, so we had to pay them.) So I prayed for a breather--time where nothing bad would happen--and got it, for 2 years and 2 days. Hubby broke his back. That's when I started waiting for more shoes to drop. (He wasn't paralyzed, but he lost his career, and we both had to start from scratch.)
I got tired of waiting, so remembered life was what it is right now. We did slowly crawl up again. We had "adventures" like you're having now. (Okay, we lived in a crappy apartment with no heat for the Christmas week, and the best job either of us could get was I had a part-time job doing surveys on the phone, so life wasn't easy, but an adventure. lol)
I started seeing the good along with the bad, we got back up to middle-class, bought a fixer-upper, and 16 years later that other shoe dropped. A fourth and fifth shoe dropped. (Almost losing the house was the last one. lol) Still, we can laugh. We can grow a garden in the summertime and put up Christmas decoration. (Can barely afford presents but our Christmas stopped being about presents years ago.) Life happened when shoes drop. It can get worse, (what you have is a loving family), but start planning what you want to do and go for it.
As for agoraphobia, you know what you need to do about that. Either do the research to learn how to conquer that, or get the help to conquer it. (You're on SSI, so help is covered.)
Stop waiting for another shoe to drop. Waiting doesn't make it happen faster or slower. It doesn't even guarantee another shoe will drop. But, you have a daughter and a loving boyfriend. Take your strength from them, donate what strength you have to them, and get on with life. You don't need no stinking book to tell you how. You're a veteran. Your father died when you were 10 and you've gone on with your life despite it. You've got strength. Use it and decide what you want next. Then do that as if a shoe might not drop.
Reading a book won't help. The only thing self-help books do is help the authors to self-prosperity. They're meaningless rubbish.
That said, stop seeing you're life as one huge tragedy. You went right from father dying 13 years ago to more recent relatives dying, as if your daughter didn't even register as a comma on the page of your life. You were in a car wreck? Who hasn't been, but, geesh, lady, you're still alive telling about it. It's a car. Big deal! Did you learn nothing about what's important and what isn't? Junk--whether car, house, or a dust ball turned into a thimble-sized stuffed animal is just that--JUNK! Cool to have our own stuff, but it's just stuff. (I get the car felt big and the house felt bigger, but it's not as big as the good you have in your life.)
Meanwhile, you ignore the really important things you still have despite all that. Wow, a five year old? I bet she lights up your life (if you'd let her.) What was the latest thing she said that made you see life through the eyes of a child? (I bet it's been within the last 48 hours--24, if you listen. 5 year olds are funny, profound, and, of course infuriating at times. lol) And, wow! Your boyfriend had you and your 5 year old daughter move in with him and his mom. AND his mom let you move in too. That's big time wonderful! We came within three weeks of losing our house. I have four brothers, a sister and a father, and we were to the point of deciding whether we could suck up living with my dad (never asked him, but he would have let us...and hated it as much as I would have lol) or living in our car. Oh yeah, and hubby was on chemotherapy at that time, but the car still seemed like a better choice. No siblings offered to put us up, so I really am very, very impressed you have such a loving family around you. (I found a government program that saved our home, until we went from Welfare to Disability.) Stop looking at the bad. I really do get the mentality. You're waiting for the next shoe to drop. It might.
I was raped at the end of college. A couple years later, I met a wonderful guy and he married me, so it wasn't all doom and gloomy. He had just gone through hell and back in a divorce and lost his two kids (home, vehicle, everything but the bills. She was supposed to get the bills too, but they were in his name, so we had to pay them.) So I prayed for a breather--time where nothing bad would happen--and got it, for 2 years and 2 days. Hubby broke his back. That's when I started waiting for more shoes to drop. (He wasn't paralyzed, but he lost his career, and we both had to start from scratch.)
I got tired of waiting, so remembered life was what it is right now. We did slowly crawl up again. We had "adventures" like you're having now. (Okay, we lived in a crappy apartment with no heat for the Christmas week, and the best job either of us could get was I had a part-time job doing surveys on the phone, so life wasn't easy, but an adventure. lol)
I started seeing the good along with the bad, we got back up to middle-class, bought a fixer-upper, and 16 years later that other shoe dropped. A fourth and fifth shoe dropped. (Almost losing the house was the last one. lol) Still, we can laugh. We can grow a garden in the summertime and put up Christmas decoration. (Can barely afford presents but our Christmas stopped being about presents years ago.) Life happened when shoes drop. It can get worse, (what you have is a loving family), but start planning what you want to do and go for it.
As for agoraphobia, you know what you need to do about that. Either do the research to learn how to conquer that, or get the help to conquer it. (You're on SSI, so help is covered.)
Stop waiting for another shoe to drop. Waiting doesn't make it happen faster or slower. It doesn't even guarantee another shoe will drop. But, you have a daughter and a loving boyfriend. Take your strength from them, donate what strength you have to them, and get on with life. You don't need no stinking book to tell you how. You're a veteran. Your father died when you were 10 and you've gone on with your life despite it. You've got strength. Use it and decide what you want next. Then do that as if a shoe might not drop.
What books do you recommend for a 15 year old girl?
Rebecca
I'm 15. I am a good reader so don't worry about anything being to hard to read. I generally much prefer more modern books that were released within the last 10 years or so. Examples of books i have read are the Twilight series, The da vinci code, angels and demons, harry potter series, kite runner, shadow in the wind, etc..
Any books you would recommend for me? I like almost every genre there is?
Thanks
xx
BTW are the Gossip Girl books any good? and without giving too much away what are they about coz i don't watch the programme?
Answer
Hey
Here are a range of books you may like
My favourite books..
Bests are no. 2, 5 and 8 as well as the last!
1) Teen book, relations etc
This Lullaby- Sarah Dessen (best sarah dessen book)
Dexter is convinced that Remy and him are made for each other, but she hates him. Soon she goes out with him for a summer romance but will dump him when she leaves for college, but then he grows on her...
2) Awesome Mystery Book, with some romance
Being- Kevin Brooks
Robert wakes up in the middle of an operation and finds something in his stomach that shouldn't be there. He escapes from the hospital and leaves for Spain with a beautiful girl called Eddie. He doesn't know what he is, is he human? Yet he's pretty sure he doesn't want to find out, but with people after him he's stuck at crossroads.
3) Teen book, relations
Two-Way-Street- Lauren Barnholdt
A 3 day trip with her ex? Danger Ahead
Why does Jordan break up with courtney when he really cares for her? Told in 2 different points of view.
4) Teen/YA book
Escape- Kate Cann
Rowan is desperate to leave home from all the pressure. So when she works as a nanny in America, she doesn't feel the freedom she wants. After escaping she finds beautiful Landon, who convinces her to work with her in a great hotel. They have something going on until Coco comes back...will Rowan escape...again?
5) Fantasy Romance, the best in the genre
Evermore- Alyson Noel - love and supernatural
great book- Ever, to the outside world, is an ordinary 16yr old girl. But she isn't. Ever since her family died in a ccident she somehow survived back into the world with a gift that she thinks she would be better out- a psychic gift and seeing auras. She wants to be normal, and handsome Damen helps her do exactly that..she tries not to show that she like him, but of course she does..when they touch...when he speaks..he's the only thing in the world. but whats more strange is that he doesn't have an aura. Only dead people dont have aura...but if he isnt dead..what is he?
http://odeo.com/episodes/23829206-EVERMORE-ALYSON-NOEL-BOOK-TRAILER
6) Very good mystery-ish, emotional-ish book
Lucas- Kevin Brooks
Caitlin is drawn to outsider Lucas, who is hated by those on the island, they dont like outcomers. Soon Caitlin and Lucas begin to like each other but when the islanders come to find out things go downhill
7) Teen book/girly-ish
The Diary of a Crush (three book series)
Edi begins the diary as she starts school, and immediately falls for Dylan, his looks... Shona, Dylans best friend, warns Edi that he's a player. But when it comes to Dylan and Edi, is he a player?
8) Emotional book, awesome
Before I Die
This made me cry ;(
Tessa has just a few months to live. Fighting back against hospital visits, endless tests, drugs with excruciating side-effects, Tessa compiles a list. It's her To Do Before I Die list. And number one is sex.
Soon after that she refuses to get close with Adam, he neighbour, it will hurt too much to lose him...
Books that are on my reading list
Willow- Julia Hoban
Told in an extraordinary fresh voice, Willow is an unforgettable novel about one girl's struggle to cope with tragedy, and one boy's refusal to give up on her.
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Willow/Julia-Hoban/e/9780803733565/?itm=1
North Of Beautiful- Justina Chen Headley
Written in lively, artful prose, award-winning author Justina Chen Headley has woven together a powerful novel about a fractured family, falling in love, travel, and the meaning of true beauty.
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/North-of-Beautiful/Justina-Chen-Headley/e/9780316025058/?pwb=1
Perfect Chemistry- Simone Elkeles
A fresh, urban twist on the classic tale of star-crossed lovers.
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Perfect-Chemistry/Simone-Elkeles/e/9780802798220/?itm=1
Book I'm reading right now (soooo good)
Sara's Face- Melvin Burgess
The most important thing in Sara's life is face. Jonathon Heat, a world famous singer, offers her star training and the cosmetic surgery she think she wants, Sara can't believe her dream will come true.
But Jonathon doesn't want Saras talent, her wants Saras Face
(there is a proper meaning to this mystery!!!)
hope i helped
xx
Hey
Here are a range of books you may like
My favourite books..
Bests are no. 2, 5 and 8 as well as the last!
1) Teen book, relations etc
This Lullaby- Sarah Dessen (best sarah dessen book)
Dexter is convinced that Remy and him are made for each other, but she hates him. Soon she goes out with him for a summer romance but will dump him when she leaves for college, but then he grows on her...
2) Awesome Mystery Book, with some romance
Being- Kevin Brooks
Robert wakes up in the middle of an operation and finds something in his stomach that shouldn't be there. He escapes from the hospital and leaves for Spain with a beautiful girl called Eddie. He doesn't know what he is, is he human? Yet he's pretty sure he doesn't want to find out, but with people after him he's stuck at crossroads.
3) Teen book, relations
Two-Way-Street- Lauren Barnholdt
A 3 day trip with her ex? Danger Ahead
Why does Jordan break up with courtney when he really cares for her? Told in 2 different points of view.
4) Teen/YA book
Escape- Kate Cann
Rowan is desperate to leave home from all the pressure. So when she works as a nanny in America, she doesn't feel the freedom she wants. After escaping she finds beautiful Landon, who convinces her to work with her in a great hotel. They have something going on until Coco comes back...will Rowan escape...again?
5) Fantasy Romance, the best in the genre
Evermore- Alyson Noel - love and supernatural
great book- Ever, to the outside world, is an ordinary 16yr old girl. But she isn't. Ever since her family died in a ccident she somehow survived back into the world with a gift that she thinks she would be better out- a psychic gift and seeing auras. She wants to be normal, and handsome Damen helps her do exactly that..she tries not to show that she like him, but of course she does..when they touch...when he speaks..he's the only thing in the world. but whats more strange is that he doesn't have an aura. Only dead people dont have aura...but if he isnt dead..what is he?
http://odeo.com/episodes/23829206-EVERMORE-ALYSON-NOEL-BOOK-TRAILER
6) Very good mystery-ish, emotional-ish book
Lucas- Kevin Brooks
Caitlin is drawn to outsider Lucas, who is hated by those on the island, they dont like outcomers. Soon Caitlin and Lucas begin to like each other but when the islanders come to find out things go downhill
7) Teen book/girly-ish
The Diary of a Crush (three book series)
Edi begins the diary as she starts school, and immediately falls for Dylan, his looks... Shona, Dylans best friend, warns Edi that he's a player. But when it comes to Dylan and Edi, is he a player?
8) Emotional book, awesome
Before I Die
This made me cry ;(
Tessa has just a few months to live. Fighting back against hospital visits, endless tests, drugs with excruciating side-effects, Tessa compiles a list. It's her To Do Before I Die list. And number one is sex.
Soon after that she refuses to get close with Adam, he neighbour, it will hurt too much to lose him...
Books that are on my reading list
Willow- Julia Hoban
Told in an extraordinary fresh voice, Willow is an unforgettable novel about one girl's struggle to cope with tragedy, and one boy's refusal to give up on her.
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Willow/Julia-Hoban/e/9780803733565/?itm=1
North Of Beautiful- Justina Chen Headley
Written in lively, artful prose, award-winning author Justina Chen Headley has woven together a powerful novel about a fractured family, falling in love, travel, and the meaning of true beauty.
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/North-of-Beautiful/Justina-Chen-Headley/e/9780316025058/?pwb=1
Perfect Chemistry- Simone Elkeles
A fresh, urban twist on the classic tale of star-crossed lovers.
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Perfect-Chemistry/Simone-Elkeles/e/9780802798220/?itm=1
Book I'm reading right now (soooo good)
Sara's Face- Melvin Burgess
The most important thing in Sara's life is face. Jonathon Heat, a world famous singer, offers her star training and the cosmetic surgery she think she wants, Sara can't believe her dream will come true.
But Jonathon doesn't want Saras talent, her wants Saras Face
(there is a proper meaning to this mystery!!!)
hope i helped
xx
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