Venessa B
I have been looking online and I think I am codependent. I have many of the symptoms and I mean almost all of them. I have no way to get to mettings ect. I just need some tips to help with this not websites or anything just simple stuff I can do to help myself...please....
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Answer
Most codependents are not in touch with their co-dependency and may need help to see it. The following self-help tips are general suggestions. For many people, these are not easy to do without the help of a counselor.
bullet Read books on codependency. You can find these in the library and bookstores. You may find you identify with what you read and gain understanding.
bullet Focus on these three C's:
* You did not Cause the other person's problem.
* You can't Control the other person.
* You can't Cure the problem.
bullet Don't lie, make excuses, or cover up for the abuser's drinking, drug, or other problem. Admit to yourself that this way of living is not normal and that the abuser or troubled person has a problem that needs professional help.
bullet Refuse to come to the person's aid. Every time you bail the abuser out of trouble, you reinforce their helplessness and your hopelessness.
bullet If you or your children are being physically, verbally, or sexually abused, do not allow it to continue. Seek the help of shelters for victims of domestic violence.
bullet Know that there are many support groups which help codependents. Examples are self- help groups for family and friends of substance abusers, such as Al-Anon, Alateen, and Children of Alcoholics Foundation (COAF). Other self-help and support groups are offered through community health education programs.
bullet Continue your normal family routines, i.e., include the drinker when he/she is sober.
bullet Focus on your own feelings, desires, and needs. Begin to do what is good for your own well-being.
bullet Allow children to express their feelings. Show them how by expressing your own.
bullet Set limits on what you will and won't do. Be firm and stick to these limits.
bullet Engage in new experiences and interests. Find diversion from your loved one's problem.
bullet Take responsibility for yourself and others in the family to live a better life whether your loved one recovers or not.
Most codependents are not in touch with their co-dependency and may need help to see it. The following self-help tips are general suggestions. For many people, these are not easy to do without the help of a counselor.
bullet Read books on codependency. You can find these in the library and bookstores. You may find you identify with what you read and gain understanding.
bullet Focus on these three C's:
* You did not Cause the other person's problem.
* You can't Control the other person.
* You can't Cure the problem.
bullet Don't lie, make excuses, or cover up for the abuser's drinking, drug, or other problem. Admit to yourself that this way of living is not normal and that the abuser or troubled person has a problem that needs professional help.
bullet Refuse to come to the person's aid. Every time you bail the abuser out of trouble, you reinforce their helplessness and your hopelessness.
bullet If you or your children are being physically, verbally, or sexually abused, do not allow it to continue. Seek the help of shelters for victims of domestic violence.
bullet Know that there are many support groups which help codependents. Examples are self- help groups for family and friends of substance abusers, such as Al-Anon, Alateen, and Children of Alcoholics Foundation (COAF). Other self-help and support groups are offered through community health education programs.
bullet Continue your normal family routines, i.e., include the drinker when he/she is sober.
bullet Focus on your own feelings, desires, and needs. Begin to do what is good for your own well-being.
bullet Allow children to express their feelings. Show them how by expressing your own.
bullet Set limits on what you will and won't do. Be firm and stick to these limits.
bullet Engage in new experiences and interests. Find diversion from your loved one's problem.
bullet Take responsibility for yourself and others in the family to live a better life whether your loved one recovers or not.
Book on Co-dependency?
Katie T
I think i've got a mild form of co-dependency. I'm not in unhealthy relationships but I definitely depend on the opinion of others more than I should and identify with a majority of signs that a person is co-dependent. I'm in therapy but this term has yet to come up. I meet with my therapist next week so we'll talk about it but in the mean time, can anybody recommend a good book on co-dependency? Thanks!
Thanks sigh, I'll check it out. I should also say that i've never had to deal with an addict before. My co-dependency comes from family "rules" and the way I was brought up. I'm not sure if any books will separate this from the kind people who deal with addicts suffer from....
Thanks siggy, and that's really what i'm working on. But most books or resources to help a person come with a term. I'm trying to identify what I would be "labeled" as so that I can find the resources to help myself.
Answer
Beyond Codependency And Getting Better All The Time. By Melody Beattie
Breaking Free A Recovery Workbook For Facing Codependency. By Pia Mellody
Beyond Codependency And Getting Better All The Time. By Melody Beattie
Breaking Free A Recovery Workbook For Facing Codependency. By Pia Mellody
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