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Kayly
My 6-year-old daughter is very smart.She knows the truth about "where babies come from" in details(appropriate for older children) but she easily assimilates them.She reads books about these things and is very interested in it already 1 year.Recently she asks me what 'oral sex' means.She knows how standard sex is being made but I think she is a bit too young to be explained the oral one.It may be disgurting for her.How do I explain it without making it disgusting?
Answer
You must be kidding. There is no WAY a 6 year old needs to know what oral sex is. It is YOUR responsibilty to ensure the reading materail and tv shows she has access to are approriate.
Get a brain
You must be kidding. There is no WAY a 6 year old needs to know what oral sex is. It is YOUR responsibilty to ensure the reading materail and tv shows she has access to are approriate.
Get a brain
My 6 Year old is extremely defiant and disruptive in school what can I do?
just peach
My son just turned 6 years old and he is one of the most disruptive kids in his class. My husband and I have tried everything I can think of. He is driving his teacher nuts all three of us have been communicating and trying to see what works to help improve his behavior. These are some of the complaints we get weekly! BTW this only happens at school!
-Not listening
-Out of Seat(constantly)
-Off task
-Playing in time out
-Excessive talking(constantly)
-Not following directions
-Not completing work
-Throwing erasers
-Constantly taunting the teacher and others
I have been in the classroom and he does do these things so I know its not the teacher overreacting and she does a good job keeping everyone in line she only has 2 other students that are a bit disruptive. We have taken everything away from him at home all he has left is the backyard, books and coloring books. No TV, No Nintendo games, and No favorite toys. At school he sometimes gets no more recess and other special activities. He is in and out of the office. We do time outs all the time, no bad behavior goes overlooked, we have gotten to the point that we had to give him and old fashion spanking. We do not reward good behavior if he has a good week we will praise him but not reward with toys or treats. Even if he has a good day it does not mean he will get something back we did the rewarding him with giving him one thing he loves back at a time it backfired! He just doesn't care he thinks its silly everything is a joke to him. He will apologize and cry and feel bad but he will forget about it and then go back to his bad behavior at school. He is a single child and the first grandchild so we have been making sure they are spoiling him and not letting him get away with anything when he is visiting with them. We try so hard to knock some sense into him by sitting down and talking to him. I even had him check for Autism and ADHD he is fine. Please Someone any suggestions! Serious answers please! and like stated before this only happens at school.
By the way I meant we make sure his grandparents aren't spoiling him behind our backs.
I am a stay at home mom and my husband has a flexible schedule so he gets plenty of attention.
@rotten1PA thanx for your input but i think you misunderstood "this kid is constantly being punished". He is not constantly being punished that is no way to live. I am simply giving you guys as much background of what we have and haven't tried when it comes to UNACCEPTABLE behavior. I could state what we do when he is on good behavior or just being a kid but that is not what I need help with. I am just getting straight to the point these are the problems we are having and these are the things we have tried. If I elaborate on absolutely everything are home life, Rewards and why the school suggested ADHD and Autism testing it would be a whole lot of reading. I am just giving you a glimpse at our situation and asking for other parents advise.
Answer
I know this is long, but please read it as I think it will help a lot. I specialize in behavioral correction for children.
When behaviors occur at school, the primary person who needs to do something about it is the teacher. You can participate as well, but the teacher needs to be doing most of the behavioral correction because she is the one that is there immediately after it occurs.
I would recommend a chart taped on his desk. Divide it into two columns: one labeled "(His Name)", and one labeled "(Teacher's Name)". Let him pick a privilege at the beginning of the school day that he will be working for that day. It can be something that he wants to earn at home (e.g. 1 hour Nintendo time, 1 hour TV time, etc), or something that he wants to earn at school (getting to be the board-eraser, getting to be the line leader, or even a smaller privilege that he can earn more often like taking a 5-minute break in the hall). Write it or draw a picture of it at the top of his chart.
Tell the teacher to keep track of about how long he will usually sit and work nicely before misbehaving. Then cut a minute or two off of that average and use that number as X: for every X minutes that he sits and works nicely, he gets a point on the "His Name" side of his chart. The teacher will probably need to set a timer on her phone that will vibrate every X minutes to remind her. The teacher can just tell him to write a point there, or she can come do it herself. Praise should go along with getting a point. For every time that he throws erasers, gets out of his seat, or other concrete misbehavior, then a point goes on the "Teacher's Name" side of his chart.
When it comes time for the privilege to be handed out (whether that's the end of the day when he is going home for Nintendo time, whether that's at lunchtime when he'd get to be the line leader, whether that's every hour if he's chosen a 5-minute break in the hall, etc), then the teacher should look at the number of points on each side of the chart. If there are more points on his side, then he earns the privilege. If there are more points on her side, then he doesn't earn the privilege. If it's something he would earn at home, have him write a special note to you (even if that's just signing his name at the bottom of a note the teacher writes) saying something like "Mom, I did so well at staying in my seat and doing my work today that I won the contest! I earned ____!" and let him take it home and give it to you. Make a big deal over these notes and make sure you tell him how proud you are of him. Make sure he gets the privilege if he comes home with a note saying he earned it. Every time he either gets or doesn't get the privilege, make a new chart and start over.
For this to work, make it easy enough to earn points (lower the minutes if necessary) so that he is earning his privilege 70-80% of the time, and especially make sure that he earns the privilege the first couple times that you use it. If he is hardly ever earning the privilege, then he will lose confidence in the system and won't even try anymore because he knows it's too hard to earn it, and then you will keep seeing the negative behaviors at the same rate as before.
I know this is long, but please read it as I think it will help a lot. I specialize in behavioral correction for children.
When behaviors occur at school, the primary person who needs to do something about it is the teacher. You can participate as well, but the teacher needs to be doing most of the behavioral correction because she is the one that is there immediately after it occurs.
I would recommend a chart taped on his desk. Divide it into two columns: one labeled "(His Name)", and one labeled "(Teacher's Name)". Let him pick a privilege at the beginning of the school day that he will be working for that day. It can be something that he wants to earn at home (e.g. 1 hour Nintendo time, 1 hour TV time, etc), or something that he wants to earn at school (getting to be the board-eraser, getting to be the line leader, or even a smaller privilege that he can earn more often like taking a 5-minute break in the hall). Write it or draw a picture of it at the top of his chart.
Tell the teacher to keep track of about how long he will usually sit and work nicely before misbehaving. Then cut a minute or two off of that average and use that number as X: for every X minutes that he sits and works nicely, he gets a point on the "His Name" side of his chart. The teacher will probably need to set a timer on her phone that will vibrate every X minutes to remind her. The teacher can just tell him to write a point there, or she can come do it herself. Praise should go along with getting a point. For every time that he throws erasers, gets out of his seat, or other concrete misbehavior, then a point goes on the "Teacher's Name" side of his chart.
When it comes time for the privilege to be handed out (whether that's the end of the day when he is going home for Nintendo time, whether that's at lunchtime when he'd get to be the line leader, whether that's every hour if he's chosen a 5-minute break in the hall, etc), then the teacher should look at the number of points on each side of the chart. If there are more points on his side, then he earns the privilege. If there are more points on her side, then he doesn't earn the privilege. If it's something he would earn at home, have him write a special note to you (even if that's just signing his name at the bottom of a note the teacher writes) saying something like "Mom, I did so well at staying in my seat and doing my work today that I won the contest! I earned ____!" and let him take it home and give it to you. Make a big deal over these notes and make sure you tell him how proud you are of him. Make sure he gets the privilege if he comes home with a note saying he earned it. Every time he either gets or doesn't get the privilege, make a new chart and start over.
For this to work, make it easy enough to earn points (lower the minutes if necessary) so that he is earning his privilege 70-80% of the time, and especially make sure that he earns the privilege the first couple times that you use it. If he is hardly ever earning the privilege, then he will lose confidence in the system and won't even try anymore because he knows it's too hard to earn it, and then you will keep seeing the negative behaviors at the same rate as before.
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