best books 4 year old boy image
checky
I am looking for creative ideas in child discipline. Nothing seems to be working or getting through to my 4 year old. Any ideas?
Answer
The subtitle on the inside: "Shifting the intense child to new patterns of success and strengthening all children on the inside."
Thereâs so much variety in childrenâs issues, but I thought this book probably covered a large section of the problem, and does a GREAT JOB. The title might better have been on the "challenging or intensive child", because it focuses on how to shift the childâs patterns of behavior towards becoming cooperative and using his or her intensity in entirely positive and creative ways.
This was spot on for our daughter, the results were quick (but the actions on your part need to be sustained), 4 years old is still time enough to intervene, and I think every parent who has a problem with a discipline problem should read it. It's written very easy to understand, with lots of examples, yet with lots of solid content.
The book is very sophisticated in that it covers many specific issues with recommendations, so short comments wonât do it justice. There are lots of chapters such as "consequences", "extending the success to school", "school advocacy advice", "the energy-challenged child", "emotions and therapy", "safe hold technique for time-out".
Hereâs the kicker. While certainly children have inherent traits, and some will be more "difficult" than others, the changes that will change the situation will come from you, the parent. I feel for your frustration, but part of your solution is to recognize that YOU are the solution, and YOU are at least a major part of the problem. Don't take the last part wrong - parents are all doing their best, especially those that write for advice on how to do better, but our children react to the environment they are in, and we are the primary creators and maintainers of that environment.
At the core, it says your child is reacting to his environment, and you control his or her environment. Change the environment. The answer isnât discipline, it is encouraging good behavior. Donât respond so much to negative behavior (youâre really rewarding it with what the child craves most, your attention). Catch the child doing something right and give your attention for that (and keep it honest; kids are perfect lie-detectors for insincerity). Set clear rules with consequences that are true and effective (and impersonal - they are the consequence of the behavior, not your punishment of the child), but recognize that every consequence delivered is a step back. What the child needs is successes for valued behavior and proper recognition of that behavior. Children want to succeed! They just might not recognize your definition of success. Use command-type instructions ("pick up your clothing", rather than "would you please ..."), that leaves no doubt as to what is required. Children really do love boundaries, it reassures them, but they also by nature explore the edges of the boundaries. When you leave the edges murky, it leaves them uncertain and redoubled in need to explore the edges. The book also has a whole section on setting up formal rewards, which Iâm less certain about (and didnât implement as they suggested), but thatâs ok.
The book is advice for the parent, and I think the only viable approach for a parent is to take responsiblity, as this book suggests, and become the actor for changing your childâs environment. I canât say it will work in all cases, but I think this will work in most that donât involve mental illness, and regardless will help you better understand your child.
The subtitle on the inside: "Shifting the intense child to new patterns of success and strengthening all children on the inside."
Thereâs so much variety in childrenâs issues, but I thought this book probably covered a large section of the problem, and does a GREAT JOB. The title might better have been on the "challenging or intensive child", because it focuses on how to shift the childâs patterns of behavior towards becoming cooperative and using his or her intensity in entirely positive and creative ways.
This was spot on for our daughter, the results were quick (but the actions on your part need to be sustained), 4 years old is still time enough to intervene, and I think every parent who has a problem with a discipline problem should read it. It's written very easy to understand, with lots of examples, yet with lots of solid content.
The book is very sophisticated in that it covers many specific issues with recommendations, so short comments wonât do it justice. There are lots of chapters such as "consequences", "extending the success to school", "school advocacy advice", "the energy-challenged child", "emotions and therapy", "safe hold technique for time-out".
Hereâs the kicker. While certainly children have inherent traits, and some will be more "difficult" than others, the changes that will change the situation will come from you, the parent. I feel for your frustration, but part of your solution is to recognize that YOU are the solution, and YOU are at least a major part of the problem. Don't take the last part wrong - parents are all doing their best, especially those that write for advice on how to do better, but our children react to the environment they are in, and we are the primary creators and maintainers of that environment.
At the core, it says your child is reacting to his environment, and you control his or her environment. Change the environment. The answer isnât discipline, it is encouraging good behavior. Donât respond so much to negative behavior (youâre really rewarding it with what the child craves most, your attention). Catch the child doing something right and give your attention for that (and keep it honest; kids are perfect lie-detectors for insincerity). Set clear rules with consequences that are true and effective (and impersonal - they are the consequence of the behavior, not your punishment of the child), but recognize that every consequence delivered is a step back. What the child needs is successes for valued behavior and proper recognition of that behavior. Children want to succeed! They just might not recognize your definition of success. Use command-type instructions ("pick up your clothing", rather than "would you please ..."), that leaves no doubt as to what is required. Children really do love boundaries, it reassures them, but they also by nature explore the edges of the boundaries. When you leave the edges murky, it leaves them uncertain and redoubled in need to explore the edges. The book also has a whole section on setting up formal rewards, which Iâm less certain about (and didnât implement as they suggested), but thatâs ok.
The book is advice for the parent, and I think the only viable approach for a parent is to take responsiblity, as this book suggests, and become the actor for changing your childâs environment. I canât say it will work in all cases, but I think this will work in most that donât involve mental illness, and regardless will help you better understand your child.
How can you get a 4 year to sit on the potty?
wizzyboy
My brother has a 4 year old boy, he will pee with no problem in the bathroom, but if he has to poop he will not sit, He will put on a pull up. How can you get this 4 year old to sit to do his busness?
Answer
Sometimes they can say, you know you are a big boy, so let's sit on the small potty like mommy and daddy uses the big potty. Read a book to them or let them take in a toy to play with. When they do go in the pot, make a big deal out of it. You can say look what you just did,let him see it going in the toilet and let him flush the toilet while saying it's all gone.Make it fun, and teach him how to wash his hands with some fun soap.And be patient.
Sometimes they can say, you know you are a big boy, so let's sit on the small potty like mommy and daddy uses the big potty. Read a book to them or let them take in a toy to play with. When they do go in the pot, make a big deal out of it. You can say look what you just did,let him see it going in the toilet and let him flush the toilet while saying it's all gone.Make it fun, and teach him how to wash his hands with some fun soap.And be patient.
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